On the first day of shutdown, my true love took from me:
my agricultural subsidy¹.
On the second day of shutdown, my true love took from me:
two district courts²,
and my agricultural subsidy.
On the third day of shutdown, my true love took from me:
three forest rangers³,
two district courts,
and my agricultural subsidy.
On the fourth day of shutdown, my true love took from me:
four border agents⁴,
three forest rangers,
two district courts,
and my agricultural subsidy.
On the fifth day of shutdown, my true love took from me:
five…new beer labels⁵,
four border agents,
three forest rangers,
two district courts,
and my agricultural subsidy.
On the sixth day of shutdown, my true love took from me:
six transport screeners⁶,
five…new beer labels,
four border agents,
three forest rangers,
two district courts,
and my agricultural subsidy.
On the seventh day of shutdown, my true love took from me:
seven food inspectors⁷,
six transport screeners,
five…new beer labels,
four border agents,
three forest rangers,
two district courts,
and my agricultural subsidy.
On the eighth day of shutdown, my true love took from me:
eight NASA scientists⁸,
seven food inspectors,
six transport screeners,
five…new beer labels,
four border agents,
three forest rangers,
two district courts,
and my agricultural subsidy.
On the ninth day of shutdown, my true love took from me:
nine secret service⁹,
eight NASA scientists,
seven food inspectors,
six transport screeners,
five…new beer labels,
four border agents,
three forest rangers,
two district courts,
and my agricultural subsidy.
On the tenth day of shutdown, my true love took from me:
ten food stamps¹⁰,
nine secret service,
eight NASA scientists,
seven food inspectors,
six transport screeners,
five…new beer labels,
four border agents,
three forest rangers,
two district courts,
and my agricultural subsidy.
On the eleventh day of shutdown, my true love took from me:
eleven museums¹¹,
ten food stamps,
nine secret service,
eight NASA scientists,
seven food inspectors,
six transport screeners,
five…new beer labels,
four border agents,
three forest rangers,
two district courts,
and my agricultural subsidy.
On the twelfth month of shutdown, my true love took from me:
twelve market watchdogs¹²,
eleven museums,
ten food stamps,
nine secret service,
eight NASA scientists,
seven food inspectors,
six transport screeners,
five…new beer labels,
four border agents,
three forest rangers,
two district courts,
and the whole damned economy!
(Author’s note: If any group of carolers is willing to perform this, please post a link to the video!)
Footnotes
1: https://ktla.com/2018/12/28/government-shutdown-could-block-federal-payments-to-farmers/
2: https://www.uscourts.gov/news/2019/01/07/judiciary-operating-limited-funds-during-shutdown
3: https://www.npca.org/articles/2029-how-is-the-partial-government-shutdown-affecting-national-parks
5: http://fortune.com/2019/01/02/government-shutdown-beer-wine/
6: https://www.politico.com/story/2019/01/08/tsa-screeners-quit-government-shutdown-1087269
7: https://www.pri.org/stories/2019-01-07/food-inspections-continue-through-shutdown-some-compromises
8: https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2019/01/us-government-shutdown-starts-take-bite-out-science
10: https://www.vox.com/2019/1/7/18172198/government-shutdown-snap-food-stamps
11: https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2019/jan/05/how-the-government-shutdown-affects-museums
